If you are unhappy in your relationship and considering polyamory as a “one-foot-out-the-door” strategy, please reconsider.Not only is your original relationship unlikely to survive the rigors of honest communication and complex feelings, but you will most likely hurt the other people you date in your polyamorous experimentation.In either case it can be extremely painful for both people.There are a few things to consider if you find yourself in this position. For some people, trying to open a relationship is the last gasp attempt to save it from breaking up.

" At the beginning of that post, I mentioned the television boyfriend and husband of the 1990s -- you know, that poor, beaten-down soul constantly stumbling over himself to belt out another apology to his scowling girlfriend or wife. Now, if you want to do better than that guy, you're going to have to take a different approach than the (largely ineffectual) one that he takes.

In my practice as a relationship consultant and expert in polyamory, I routinely encounter people who love each other dearly and have drastically different relationship needs.

Most often it is a man who wants to have a polyamorous relationship and a woman who wishes to remain monogamous, but sometimes it is the woman who wants to be poly and the man who is devoutly monogamous.

“Open your heart and see how she reacts,” Spira says.

“You don’t need to talk about everything that went wrong in the relationship.