Everyone is drinking, peering into their screens and swiping on the faces of strangers they may have sex with later that evening. “Ew, this guy has Dad bod,” a young woman says of a potential match, swiping left.
Her friends smirk, not looking up.“Tinder sucks,” they say. At a booth in the back, three handsome twentysomething guys in button-downs are having beers.
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This questioning has led many well-known men to adamantly defend their heterosexuality and has tarnished the reputation and careers of others.It’s a balmy night in Manhattan’s financial district, and at a sports bar called Stout, everyone is Tindering.The tables are filled with young women and men who’ve been chasing money and deals on Wall Street all day, and now they’re out looking for hookups. Instead, we shame men who have this desire, from the boyfriends, cheaters and “chasers” to the “trade,” clients, and pornography admirers.We tell men to keep their attraction to trans women secret, to limit it to the internet, frame it as a passing fetish or transaction.