But within every change lies opportunity."May you have a strong foundation when the winds of changes shift." - Bob Dylan, "Forever Young"Of course, the first thing to say is that you should not, perhaps, expect to get over divorce straight away.
If you're following one path and all of a sudden that path is blocked or simply no longer there, it's natural to stop for a while, consider the terrain in which you find yourself, and eventually start moving again, perhaps in a new direction along a newer path. But if divorce, and all the trials and tribulations that go with it, becomes your over-riding focus (which is quite natural for a while), then other parts of your life get neglected. The truth is we all have basic or 'primal' emotional needs that, when fulfilled, make us feel better - even happy.
Tonight is one of those nights, and soon Leah will head to Jim’s penthouse apartment, where the rest of the evening, she says, will probably entail “hanging out, watching something, having sex.” “She’ll usually spend the night,” Ryan adds nonchalantly, which gives him a chance to enjoy some time alone or even invite another woman over.
He doesn’t have a long-standing secondary relationship like Leah (“I’ve actually veered away from doing that”), but he certainly enjoys the company of other women, even sometimes when Leah is home.
I knew that our feelings for each other were growing stronger.
One night we happened to pull into the garage at the same time to fuel up during a shift.
In all my years of dating men, if there’s one thing that’s stuck out like a sore thumb in a man, it’s his insecurity.
It’s not that she means to be rude, it’s just that Jim has been traveling for work, so it’s been a while since she’s seen him. As her “primary partner” and the man with whom she lives, he is the recipient of most of Leah’s attention, sexual and otherwise, but he understands her need to seek companionship from other quarters roughly one night a week.
“I like everyone to meet each other and be friends and stuff,” he explains.
"There was a side of me that was ecstatic – the teenage boy in me that wants to fuck everything I see," reveals Ryan, a millennial in an open relationship.
And if children are involved, a sense of aching guilt can pervade as you try to cope. With divorce come economic changes, often hardships; the future can feel like a strange and foreign land.
Protracted legal wrangles whilst having to deal with the very person you loved or love through a professional formal third party can seem depressingly unreal.